Time

It's been a while since I've wrote on here. Not to say that I have nothing to say or nothing to share, I have plenty. I've been keeping a lot of thoughts in my head and a lot in places that I haven't found yet. But yes, they are all still there and all still traveling.

After a long night of Wii at XES I am finding myself a little tired, a little restless, and listening to Kate Nash. At this moment, I am enjoying the song more then life itself. It is called Foundations, and it just makes me laugh.

I've started taking a movement class at William Esper Acting Studio. It is a secondary class that I have no yet had the pleasure of diving into. I can actually already feel it changing my life. On Friday I had to sit across from this boy that I had met previously for only a second. We sat just feet away and had to stare directly at each other. There is something so sad, beautiful, loving, and mostly scary about staring into someone's eyes that you don't know. We had to just be okay with being with this person, focus our attention on them. Then we slowly did body shifts in our chairs. Shift one was a basic sitting position, constantly sitting at peace, just there. A focused position in which we sat straight up and made you feel as if you were in charge. The third position was to just fall into the chair and be relaxed. In this position I felt like a rebellious child and uncaring of any emotion that was pushed my way.

There were moments where I was up and focus, and he were leaning back relaxed. I wanted to scream at him to listen to me, to focus, to want me, to need me. And then sitting back myself, it wouldn't have matter what he had said, I were done. Granted, there were no words exchanged, and it wasn't about dialogue. It was about everything that was being said when you say nothing. In those short few minutes I feel in love with this boy, I pushed for a relationship, I pulled away from one, I ignored him, and mostly it reminded me of every single relationship I've ever had.

in those few minutes, I feel as though I know this boy now. I feel like I could tell you and hold one of his darkest secrets. I don't actually know what he is hiding, and maybe he isn't hiding anything. But for some reason, simply staring into someone's eyes allows you into there body and soul.

"you say you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts"

Maybe I am thinking too much, it wouldn't be the first time. And it won't be the last. And I wonder still, what does someone see when they look directly into me? What would I see if I were to look into my own eyes, would I learn or expect something that I didn't before? Am I hiding part of myself from myself. The me from me.

And with these words of seemingly blabber, as it is, I must get some sleep. :-)