I've Still Got the Marks

Today I had to count
Every now and then it all just hits me
Everything at once and I can't take it
Sometimes it feels like there is safety in numbers
It's the control
I know what's coming next
There are no suprises in one to ten
Today I had to count
At one I could feel you
Five I could only see you
At ten you didn't exist
And now you're gone
At least until I have to count again
Every now and then I just need some air
Can't you just give me some fucking space to breathe
One and ur strangling me
Two and I can't help myself
Three get away from me
Four I'm kicking and screaming
Five stop trying to be near me
Six and you finally look away
Seven you're finally fading
Eight you're so much easier to hate then love
Nine I can finally breathe again
Ten and you've never existed to me
Today I had to count
One to ten never changes
I find the comfort in control
And soon enough I've forgotten what I ever needed to count for.