I'll Think About You, But I Won't Tell You

I'll Think About You, But I Won't Tell You

It's true. I'll have opinions and stories to always share, but when it comes down to it, I write a lot of things to get them out of my body. I write and share a lot of things to simply release them, but almost in a passive aggressive way. What would happen I wonder if the people I choose to write about actually knew that I was, or what they would think if I actually told them to their faces what I think about them. It wouldn't be nearly as interesting, I mean, I'd probably come off an insane, and I can do that anyways. Mostly I write for the moment and I can't imagine calling these people every time I had a different emotion and exploding on them. I would probably label myself clinical at that point as well. On the same card though, I know a few people read this blog that specific bits are about. One of them asks me about them and I love it. I love that he would even read the things that are about him and still want to talk to me or be a part of my life. Although if someone were writing so openly about me I'd want to read it. I can also say, I've never posted anything on here to hurt anyone, or directed negatively towards someone. Have I wrote pieces like that, yes. Multiple times. Recently I wrote a blog about the worst blow job I've ever gotten. One of my friends called me and told me how I should post the guys picture next to it and exploit everything about him. Obviously, this is nothing I would ever do, but the idea made me laugh. I have a dark sense of humor, so it makes sense.

This is getting off track and basically what I mean to say is that although putting my thoughts out there is a great release, I think telling the people I write about the same way I feel would be even better. But I never will. I am obsessed with how people see me. Not in the way that I want to be any particular thing to anyone, but more so that I love to see and hear how people perceive me. It is usually pretty far off base from how I see myself, I think that's normal though. No one else can obviously hear the dialogue in ones head as well as the person having it. So with that said, I heard this song Chasing Pavements by Adele the other day, and it reminded me of all these things. Spacifically the lyrics below.

"If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do."