Hurting People

I've hurt people. There was a girl in 5th grade that I made fun of once for being over weight because I knew she had weight issues and she was being a bitch to me. I knew my words would hurt her more then anything she could possibly say to me, and I was right. In this instant, I went out of my way to hurt her, and I did. It was intentional and I've always felt bad about it. I was a close friend to her, I knew how she were vulnerable and I used it to destroy her for a small amount of time.

As an adult, I've hurt people in other ways, more unintentional ways. As a human, it happens. People can't always see eye and to eye, and even when you don't try, someone can easily get hurt. I've been on both sides of the table, so know I just try to be open and honest all the time. I try not to hide things in corners and I let my emotions be known. If you are honest all the time, then you can't "hurt" someone as much as just dropping a bomb.

I feel like it has been a while since I've said or done something to intentionally cause someone else pain. And it is the worst when it happens to you. It leaves you wondering why? Was it a payback of some sort? Why is there so much anger there? What happened to how you cared about me?

Why is it that we pull peoples strings in the worst most vulnerable ways, just because we can?

If I've ever hurt you, and you're reading this now, I'm sorry. Unless you were that girl from 5th grade, or some other isolated incident, I probably didn't mean to. And in the end, who is really the one left hurting?

This song has never been my favorite Alanis song, but for now, it just seems the most fitting.



FLINCH

What's it been over a decade?
It still smarts like it was four minutes ago
We only influenced each other totally
We only bruised each other even more so

What are you my blood? You touch me like you are my blood
What are you my dad? You affect me like you are my dad

How long can a girl be shackled to you
How long before my dignity is reclaimed
How long can a girl stay haunted by you
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name

Where've you been? I heard you moved to my city
My brother saw you somewhere downtown
I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you
My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin

How long can a girl be tortured by you?
How long before my dignity is reclaimed
And how long can a girl be haunted by you
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name

So here I am one room away from where I know you're standing
A well-intentioned man told me you just walked in
This man knows not of how this information has affected me
But he knows the colour of the car I just drove away in

What are you my kin? You touch me like you are my kin
What are you my air? You affect me like you are my air