Not Every Sex Story is Not Going to be Fun

For the last week I've been working hard at putting together my book of dating and sex stories. I cringe when people assume it is anything like Sex and the City. It is not. This has been a goal of mine for some time and I've slowly been working at it. Only recently has it become a real true vision in my head and something I see as tangible.

For the most part it has been very fun for me, very informative, even for myself. It's interesting to see how I actually work in situations and how they turn out. It's interesting for me to actually admit that I am a little crazy. I am totally delusional about certain people in my past, present and probably future. I don't see this as weakness, I just see it. I like to assume that I am as real to certain people as they have been to me. I am not. I have a strong tendency to ignore things about people that I don't like and make up things that I want to believe. I always think that I can stare into someone's eyes and know their life story. This isn't true. But I am convinced that I can feel someone else's skin through their eyes.

Today I wrote about a story that actually tugs at my heart. I found myself confessing to a love that I hid from even myself. I found myself exploring the thought process of what goes through my head when I kiss someone I care about. I picture the future in detail, things I can't possibly know. I live in a fairy tale in my head.

I have to stop sleeping with people that are in relationships.