Health Food

Everyday I have the best of intentions when it comes to writing. Unfortunately not everyday am I able to come to a blank anything and throw myself out onto it. This is frustrating beyond belief. In my mind I expect myself to begin at one sitting and get up with a finished product. I expect my first try to be my only try. This, of course, only blocks me. I am afraid to make a mistake, there for I cut myself off from the beginning. I end up decapitating myself before I've even gotten a word in at all.


This week I reconnected with a friend that I really haven't spoken to in a while. He has a tendency to come and go in my life. He comes around and then he disappears with no contact, no response, nothing. Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere he appears again. I always know what the story is though. He goes on meth binges. He was the first friend I had in New York outside of school and I still consider him to be one of my best friends. I have this fear in the back of my mind that one of these times when I don't hear back from him, that I am never going to again.