4 (again)

Shades of Blue For You

I made you this painting
I hope you like it
I thought maybe you could hang it in your new apartment
Or something
It's from a photo
Remember, you know
The last night I saw you
That night I told everyone I was in love with you
Oh, I didn't know you had company
I, ummm, I should have called
I'm sorry, I ummm
Yeah, so I guess I'll be seeing you
Glad to know you're doing okay
Yeah, of course, great to see you too
Yeah, definitely, you should stop in

I made you this painting
I hope you like it
But you'll never see it
I did it to get over you
I thought maybe you'd escape my body through some shades of blue
Clearly it didn't work
Or u wouldn't be thinking about you now
As I know you aren't of me

I wrote you this poem
I hope you like it
But I know you'll never read it
I did it to get over you
I thought maybe you'd escape my mind through all these lines
Maybe over time.


Going For Me

You said that I have this whole tortured artist thing going for me
I said tortured artist died out in the 90s
So who am I standing before you
My cowboy boots and plaid shirt
What's behind my dirty hair and clothing
What 90s soul do you equate me with
Who can I be to you
I'm not your Kurt Cobain
But maybe he was onto something
With a bullet in the head you can't question him
I'm more of a rip off then Courtney Love
Suck my blood
Feed on me

You said I've got this whole pretty face thing going for me
When you're gay pretty faces die out in their late twenties
No amount of moisturizer or products can change this chain of events
Or the fact that you mainly just see my face and body
Imagine it all over you
And what was that
I'm whoever I tell you I am
With that I'd roll away and never acknowledge you again
Well, maybe through a poem

You said that I have this whole amazing thought processes thing going for me
You wanted to crawl inside my head
Pick apart my syllables
And explain myself to me
Make me hear what you do
So I gave you a ladder
I let you in
The last thing I remember is seeing your back to my eyes
And then your feet in the distance

I've got this whole tortured artist thing for me
Those people never live past their thirties
But they've had enough emotions to make them 90
I've got this whole pretty face thing going for me
Who gives a fuck
I've got this whole amazing thought process thing going for me
I'm silently driving myself crazy
You're going to remember me
And just seeing my spinning wheels in the distance


You Think I'm Crazy

You think I'm crazy
I can't complain
I've seen your idea of sane
I can't argue
You're not worth the battle
In the past I'd crack and create my backbone for you
Reassemble
And incorporate
Build myself up to be who you need me to be
I can be all the parts you're clearly missing
The regurgitated soul
I yearn to lick your wounds
Heal you and through me you can see
You think I'm crazy
And I can't complain
You like crazy
You hate that it makes you feel safe
Everything normal you throw away
Discomfort heals in difficult times
Discomfort finds safety and fucks it sideways
Dirty how you like it
In ease in your indecision
Carefully premeditated
The score is set before your first move
You think I'm crazy
And I can't complain


Snow

Snow crunched under our boots
A soft breeze blew my hair over my eyes
Your hand was warm as it brushed it away
Your lips soft on my forehead
Down the trail people played instruments
And sang songs I hadn't heard since being a child
Your hand wrapped around mine
Snow crunched below our boots
It's amazing to me
The way another person can fill you up
And the way they can drain the world from you
Before the confrontations
And all the attacks
The questions
And dropped calls
Before everything got confused
Misread
Undelivered and belittled
Before my ego got involved
And before we stopped talking
Snow was crunching below our boots
Your lips were soft and hands warm
This is how I choose to remember you