Starting to Love Myself

It's recently been brought to my attention that I don't love myself enough. And I didn't really think about it before, but it's true. I think I'm a fun guy and genuinely nice to people for the most part. I might come off slightly cold, but I think that's more of a shield then it is me being mean. I don't need everyone to like me anyways, I can't control other people, but only myself.

In the past few days I'm been trying to really pick up and notice when I mentally dog myself down, shut myself off, play the victim, and basically am negative to myself and to other people. I definitely use it as a way to "protect" myself, but I'd like to stop. I need to stop making fun of other people all the time (just to my friends, never to anyones face), and I need to stop making fun of myself. I am by far too hard on myself for acting and doing the things that I want to. Saying you are going to stop something that has been imprinted in you since birth is much easier said then done though.

I am meditating, on a lot of thing. One being to let go of a relationship, one of becoming a positive person, on dealing with anxiety and stress, and many more. They have helped immensely.

The letting go of a relationship one really helps you in unlocking and realizing that people are in your life for a certain reason and a certain amount of time for a purpose. It helps you to find that reason and allows you to just mentally release the person from all chains you may still have wrapped on them.

The positive person one sort of implants a chip in your head that makes you notice when you are being negative. I've started to make a not of what I've thought and then think of the opposite and make it a positive affirmation. This is difficult and makes me laugh sometimes, but then I start laughing and therefore I am happy again. This also makes me think less negative things about myself.

Dealing with anxiety and stress just seems to make me really calm after. It erases all the pain in my stomach and makes it easier to breathe.

There are a ton more and each last for approximately 25 minutes. I recommend checking out OrinDaben.com to see if you want to try any of them.

Yes, it seems like a lot of work. But when you actually want to change something about yourself, shouldn't it be work? Yes, you should be who you are, who you want to be. But what if who you've become isn't who you used to be? Or you want to be happy? Yes, make the changes, why not? You only live once, so go for it! I decided that I don't want to be unhappy anymore, I don't want to be negative, I don't want to blame other people for my insecurities, I don't want to drink through my problems, i want to deal with them and I want to get them out of my life so I can grow to be the amazing person that I know I can be.

I am officially starting to love myself, I'm starting today.