Thomas...

Thomas would like to know...

Why am i still looking at things that don't involve me and wondering if maybe they did...
Maybe if I see a picture or a "thing" and wonder if maybe I was in the background, maybe if the person thought of me once, them maybe... just maybe... i would exist... to that person.

Why did I think that you were only looking at me... because you were, but not how I thought you were. I thought you stared at me and didn't see anyone else... now I know that you stared at me.. but just the same as you saw everyone else. It's always more magical to think that you are something special... sometimes you just aren't.

Why no one ever hears him... I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, but maybe what's more important is what you actually need to hear?

Why you never called back...

Why he decided that it was a good idea to reveal all...

Why his mother went a little crazy and never seemed to connect again. She says it was alcohol, but she never drank... she says everyone else is crazy... but she's just the same... sometimes I wonder who I'm really calling for...

Why it's so hard to get out of bed sometimes, why is 9 hours just not long enough to rest the head...

When will Final Fantasy 13 actually come out... it is time for another distraction.... sometime else to keep his minds eye blind for a bit.

Thomas would like to know why it's so hard to say "I Love you" and mean it. I can see his imprint on the couch.. and I love it... I can feel his face near mine.. and I love it... I can feel him holding me... and I love it... I can feel him being silly and laughing.... and I love it.... and I still sit here afraid... afraid... afraid.... that I might like it???

Thomas would like to know... everything... when things get easier, when they fall off... when they are settle, when enough is enough.....

Thomas would like to know, but he'd rather not ask.... when will I die? will i look back and say it were a happy death?