A Few Tasks to Attend to

Why am I never searching
When sometimes I feel so lost
Am I just paying a price
Do I see myself as the ultimate human sacrifice
How many places can I leave and cut myself into pieces
Why am I always mending
And breaking unconscious
Feeling divided
And useless if not at someone else's aide
I feel so hollow
I have so much enraged
I've still got a few misleading grudges
A few tasks to attend to
And I'm tired of hearing how great I am
How about a little criticism
How about telling me what you really think
And how about a real emotionally charged conversation
One that doesn't begin and end with some hollow compliment
You think because you've met me you know me
That I owe you something
I'm not the type of investment that guarantees a return
Most of the time I'm found far and few between
Maybe we could try something new
Maybe you could get to know me before you obsess over me
I can be more then bargained for
And even harder to make peace with
I'm easier to hate then I am to love
I'm poetic and artistic
And I love dirty talk
I'm alive and at times I'm hardly moving
Never stopping
But constantly overwhelmed
So much to do and so little time
So much to say and confined in emotional over bearings
Discontent continuous
How many places and how many ways can I cut myself and hide the pieces in places you'd never know to look
And feelings you never knew you could feel.